Inside my head
by JadelynNightmare
Summary: See the world through Inuyasha's eyes, the reality behind him. Based on the psychological analysis of his character, actions, and past this is literally pretty much the closest thing you can get to his actual thought process according to science.


Every day it's the same torture again and again, I'm slowly descending into depression, I can feel it in my heart. My so called friends laugh as I'm forced into the ground by a simple word, my pride stripped away, my body vulnerable, and my heart breaking, all because of that stupid word.

"Sit"

I don't understand what I've done wrong, I didn't have the kind of upbringing they had, I'm not human, I don't understand what I'm supposed to do, their customs baffle me. I look at them and I feel so alone, so isolated by my years spent in solitude.

The laughing, that mocking, vicious laughter pierces me through the heart, the laughter of my friends, the laughter of all those who had the pleasure of breaking my body and soul. I can almost feel like I'm a child again, defenseless against them, and mother is no where near by. They tell me I deserve it, and maybe they're right, I'm a useless half breed after all, it's my fault mother died, so it must be my fault that they hate me.

"Inuyasha, we're tired we're stopping for the night." Stop? No, doesn't she understand? We can't stop, we can't, the demons will come in the night, just like they always 'll hunt me down for being a half breed.

"Keh, it's too early wench. We'll stop later." I shouldn't make her angry, she'll hurt me again, but if I tell her the truth, if I tell her why... she would tell me that I'm there to fight off the demons if any show up, that's all I'm here for after all.

"INUYASHA SIT! WE'RE ALL TIRED AND I'M NOT TAKING ANY MORE OF YOUR ATTITUDE, WE'RE STOPPING! SIT SIT SIT!" She screams and dirt becomes my sole companion in the darkness, I knew she wouldn't go easy on me, she's been irritated all day, waiting for me to slip so she could take her frustrations out on me. I can hear the others, whispering, laughing.

"He deserved it." The monk speaks, he always says so.

"He shouldn't have made Kagome angry." The fox kit is quick to agree, of course he is, she coddles him, some day she won't be around to protect him, and then what? He'll be dead, all because she won't let me teach him that his actions have consequences, his father would have.

"He's just a baka, he doesn't understand anything." The demon slayer is right, I am a baka, I don't understand these humans and their ways.

Finally the spell wears off, Kagome sees me get up and glares at me before turning away. The others snicker, I jump into the boughs of a tree, I want to disappear, I want to cry, I don't know what to do. More than anything... I want my mother. If she hadn't died I wouldn't be here, stuck with these people who hate me so much. I know they hate me but, I have to protect them, they're the only ones who have ever been this close to me, who don't think I'm a monster, the only ones who let me eat with them. Sometimes I think they care about me but, then the sit comes, or the argument, they all take her side and I remember that I'm a half breed, they will never truly be my friends, they are my allies because I can help them destroy Naraku, and for no other reason. Kagome was the first to accept me for who I was to some degree, I pledged my life to her when I realized this.

Morning light comes and Kagome makes breakfast, she's not angry any more, maybe I'll be lucky and she won't sit me today. The sits hurt so much, but I can't tell her that, I'm supposed to be the strong one after all. Knowing me though, I won't be lucky, I'll do something stupid and against her customs and she'll sit me, again. I'm just waiting for it to happen but, I'm going to try, I'm going to be quiet, to be good, and maybe, I won't upset her and get sat.

I walk ahead of the group alone and silent, I can hear her speed up a little to catch up with me, I sniff the air discreetly when I smell it, a village nearby. I speed up and throw only a few words over my shoulder.

"Village up ahead, I'll go and check it out." I run as fast as I can, they won't reach it walking for at least half a day, they'll speed up though, with Kirara they'll be at the village about an hour after I reach it. I won't be allowed in, not by myself as a halfbreed, but at least I can make sure it's safe.

After an hour waiting at the border of the village the others catch up to me, they are angry I can tell that much from their faces. Kagome steps forward, she's their punisher after all, the one who puts me in my place when I step out of line and treats me like a dog who disobeyed his master.

"What the heck was that! You just left us in a hurry, you didn't even bother to think about us did you? You just left on your own adventure, you didn't even stop to consider your friends and leaving us alone in the road." Of course she's yelling, she didn't see the bodies of the demons I killed on the way here, she doesn't realize I wanted to make sure this place was safe, that I did it for them, if she did would she even care?

"What? Nothing to say? FINE THEN SIT AND WAIT HERE FOR ALL I CARE WHILE WE GO TO THE VILLAGE AND SIT SIT SIT! You don't care about leaving us behind, we don't care about leaving you behind. When you finally get up come and find us if you're ready to stop being a baka." They walk away and leave me alone, alone with the demons of the world.

The spells lifts and I can sit up, I don't want to go find them just yet. I like this quiet solitude, I can't be yelled at or sat. There is no way I can make Kagome angry from all they way up here, I'm safe up here. I sit with my back against the tree, I'll stay here, just for a while... just to get away from it all for a little while


End file.
